Research shows that simply pursuing happiness does not guarantee that we will become happier in the future no matter how hard we try (Rohrer et al., 2018).

The research asked people to describe what their strategies are for increasing their happiness and found that only those whose strategies related to building and nurturing social relationships like spending more time with family and friends or joining a nonprofit organisation actually experienced greater happiness after one year. But people who described strategies like earning more money, getting a better job or improving physical health, which are not related to nurturing social relationships, did not become any happier after one year. This shows that we can in fact be happier if we implement the right strategies. 🙌

So spend more time nurturing meaningful relationships, and love your partner more, your parents, children, friends, strangers and love God more as best as you can before it’s too late, encouraging and building them up. Think of every day as an opportunity to love more. As research shows, this is the most effective strategy for increasing your happiness. Spend time making others happy and happiness will follow you.

Rohrer, Julia M., David Richter, Martin Brümmer, Gert G. Wagner, and Stefan C. Schmukle. "Successfully striving for happiness: Socially engaged pursuits predict increases in life satisfaction." Psychological Science 29, no. 8 (2018): 1291-1298.

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Research shows that inducing physical pain on our body is an effective strategy for strengthen our mental health (Harmon-Jones et al., 2019). Pain, particularly short term, physical pain that does not cause injury such as intense physical exercise, taking a cold shower or eating very spicy food, can reduce our tendency to dwell on negative emotions after experiencing anger and sadness, thereby improving mental wellbeing.

In an experiment, people were divided into two groups. Group One was asked to put their hand in a bucket of icy water for as long as possible to cause pain, while Group Two was asked to put their hand in a bucket of lukewarm water. Next, both groups were asked to play a computer game of tossing a ball to two other players. The game was programmed such that the ball was thrown to the participants for the first 15 seconds, but the ball was not thrown to them at all for the remaining 1 minute and 30 seconds. This was to make them feel more angry and sad. Finally, both groups were asked to “rest” for 5 minutes to focus on their breathing, during which they were asked to write down their thoughts they had when a tone was sounded for 10 times. This was to measure rumination or how much they repetitively think about the negative emotions they had during the game even after the game has ended.

The results showed that Group One that experienced more pain mentioned less about the rigged game during the rest time than Group Two. In other words, people who experienced pain were able to quickly move on after experiencing anger and sadness. In a similar experiment, consistent results were found when pain was induced by making people squeeze an exercise hand grip for 60 seconds.

Pain is a useful psychological tool that we can use to improve our mental wellbeing.

So start your day with pain using a physical exercise or a cold shower and enjoy the benefits throughout the day! Indeed, our mental strength is made perfect in our physical weakness.

Harmon-Jones, Cindy, Emily Hinton, Judy Tien, Elizabeth Summerell, and Brock Bastian. "Pain offset reduces rumination in response to evoked anger and sadness." Journal of personality and social psychology 117, no. 6 (2019): 1189

Research shows that people whose happiness is greatly affected by emotional ups and downs have poorer psychological wellbeing than those whose happiness is less affected by emotional ups and downs (Wilroth et al., 2020).

The research measured people's psychological wellbeing, and their daily experience of positive and negative emotions and life satisfaction at the end of each day for 8 consecutive days. After two months, life satisfaction and emotions were measured again over 8 consecutive days. The results showed that people who were satisfied with their life more consistently despite feeling emotional ups and downs had much better psychological well-being compared to those whose life satisfaction changed drastically when they felt more positive or negative emotions.

Developing a belief that our life is full of emotional ups and downs but that they should not determine how happy we are will protect our mental health. Accept and acknowledge that life will present both positive and negative emotions, that both good and bad things happen to everyone.

It is the bad times that make our good times ever more worthwhile.

Willroth, E. C., John, O. P., Biesanz, J. C., & Mauss, I. B. (2020). Understanding short-term variability in life satisfaction: The Individual Differences in Evaluating Life Satisfaction (IDELS) model. Journal of personality and social psychology, 119(1), 229.

One strategy the research found to be useful for preventing our negative emotions from taking away our willingness to engage in an enjoyable activity is to imagine the outcome for that activity rather than to imagine the process. For example, imagining the outcome of how good we would feel after having a party at a bar would help us to be more willing to join the party. We are less likely to join the party if we image the process of how good we would feel while being in the party.

In an experiment, people were divided into two groups. Group One was asked to describe a negative personal experience to make them feel negative emotions while Group Two was asked to describe a typical day in their life to make them feel neutral. Both groups were presented with two songs - We wish you a merry Christmas, (a more enjoyable song to sing), and Silent Night (a less enjoyable song to sing), then asked to either imagine how they would feel while they were singing each song, or imagine how they would feel after they finished singing each song. Finally, they were asked which song they would prefer to sing, and how difficult it is to imagine singing each song.

The results showed that Group One that was made to feel unhappy was less willing to sing a more enjoyable song because they found it difficult to imagine doing an enjoyable activity. However, when they imagined how they would feel after singing the song, they were more likely to sing the more enjoyable song than when they imaged how they would feel while singing the song. In other words, unhappy people are more likely to avoid enjoyable activities, but imagining how they would feel after engaging in an enjoyable activity will help them overcome the inertia.

When you feel unhappy, imagine how you would feel after doing the activities that you find enjoyable. This will help you overcome the psychological barriers that prevent you from doing the enjoyable activities.

Shen, Hao, Aparna Labroo, and Robert S. Wyer Jr. "So difficult to smile: Why unhappy people avoid enjoyable activities." Journal of personality and social psychology 119, no. 1 (2020): 23.

Research found that feeling rejected, excluded or ignored takes away our sense of meaning in life, which further triggers suicidal thoughts (Chen et al., 2020). In an experiment, people were divided into two groups. Group One was asked to imagine that they feel lonely, and cannot make any friends with any colleagues in the company they work for. Group Two was asked to imagine that they always feel accompanied by others, and have made many friends with colleagues in the company they work for. Next, their suicidal thoughts were measured by asking them to rate how much “I wanted to die”, “I wanted to kill myself”, “I wanted to end my life” etc. The results show that Group One that imagined to feel lonely and excluded reported higher levels of suicidal thoughts than Group Two.

The research found that those who feel lonely experienced higher levels of suicidal thoughts because they feel that life is less meaningful. However, the research also found a strategy that we can use to minimise the harmful effects of loneliness. It found that those who feel lonely experience less suicidal thoughts if they think about why some of the following values are important to them - athletic ability, living in the moment, sense of humor, creativity, independence, membership in a special group such as church, music, politics, relationship with friends, relationship with family, and religious values (Sherman et al., 2009).

Reaffirming one’s personal values helps us find strength when we feel rejected and excluded, protecting our mind from suicidal thoughts.

Next time when you feel lonely, rejected or excluded, reflect on your core personal values to help you find greater sense of meaning in life, which will create a buffer against suicidal thoughts.

Do not be afraid or terrified for there will always be someone who will go with you, and will never leave you nor forsake you.

A survey of more than 11,000 people across three countries (Hungary, Australia and the US) found that those who aspire to make the world a better place have the highest levels of happiness and wellbeing (Bradshaw et al., 2020). We can aspire for different things in life but if happiness is what we want in the end, aspiring to work to help others will pay dividend.

When we look not only to our own interest, but also to the interests of others, we will be rewarded with greater happiness.

Bradshaw, E.L., Sahdra, B.K., Ciarrochi, J., Parker, P.D., Martos, T. and Ryan, R.M., 2020. A configural approach to aspirations: The social breadth of aspiration profiles predicts well-being over and above the intrinsic and extrinsic aspirations that comprise the profiles. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In other words, when governments redistribute wealth but spend less, their citizens feel more happy on average.

Oishi, Shigehiro, Ulrich Schimmack, and Ed Diener. "Progressive taxation and the subjective well-being of nations." Psychological science 23, no. 1 (2012): 86-92.

Other research shows that the way we try to control our emotions also affects our political decisions. People often try to reduce their negative emotions that they experience following a loss of a political leader that they voted by trying to see the situation in a more positive light. This act of controlling our negative emotions makes people less motivated to participate in political action such as participating in a protest or donating money or time (Ford et al., 2019). The research surveyed 187 people who voted for Hillary Clinton who lost in the 2016 presidential election in the US, and found that people who were able to control their negative emotions by reframing the situation to see it in less negative terms were less likely to engage in political action in the future.

Beware of how your emotions and how you control your emotions affect your political decisions.

Ward, George, Jan-Emmanuel De Neve, Lyle H. Ungar, and Johannes C. Eichstaedt. "(Un) happiness and voting in US presidential elections." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology (2020).

Ford, Brett Q., Matthew Feinberg, Phoebe Lam, Iris B. Mauss, and Oliver P. John. "Using reappraisal to regulate negative emotion after the 2016 US Presidential election: Does emotion regulation trump political action?." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 117, no. 5 (2019): 998.

Research shows that writing a diary each day using a third person rather than a first person perspective can increase your wisdom (Grossmann et al. 2021). For example, when writing a diary, using your name to refer to yourself like Jake thinks or Jake feels rather than writing I think or I feel broadens your perspective, helping you develop more wise reasoning when thinking about a recent conflict.

In other words, the exercise of writing from a third person perspective helps you develop greater wisdom and better navigate through social conflicts in life.

Use the third person thinking to put away all bitterness and anger that you have to help you be more kind to one another, and forgive one another.

Grossmann, Igor, Anna Dorfman, Harrison Oakes, Henri C. Santos, Kathleen D. Vohs, and Abigail A. Scholer. "Training for Wisdom: The Distanced-Self-Reflection Diary Method." Psychological Science 32, no. 3 (2021): 381-394.

A survey of more than 10,000 people over 17 years shows that just by living in areas with more trees and gardens, we feel greater happiness.

The nature is a magical source of not only inspiration, but of healing and happiness.

When we begin to really see and appreciate the beauty in all the natural world that surrounds us, and the beauty of the connections we have with all the beasts of the land, the birds of the heavens, trees of the earth and the fish in the seas, and the stars of the universe, we can find greater happiness in life.

When we appreciate the beauty of an artwork by an artist, the artist would be very pleased. When we appreciate the beauty of nature, God would also be very pleased.

Next time you walk past a park or a garden, pause for a moment to extract all the happiness that the green space is giving you.

White, M. P., Alcock, I., Wheeler, B. W., & Depledge, M. H. (2013). Would you be happier living in a greener urban area? A fixed-effects analysis of panel data. Psychological Science, 24(6), 920-928.

Research shows that what we say on social media is highly predictive of our physical well-being (Eichstaedt et al., 2015).

The analyses of 148 million tweets in the US were combined with heart disease data across 1,347 counties revealed that when people mention more words like fuck, hate, bored and tired, the places they live in recorded higher numbers of death from heart diseases. When our word choices refer to aggression, hate, boredom and fatigue, we are more likely to live in places where more people actually die from heart diseases. When people mention more words like skills, community service, meeting, experience, friends, hope, opportunity, achieve and strength, the places they live in recorded lower numbers of death from heart diseases. When our word choices refer to skilled occupations, positive experiences and optimism, we are more likely to live in places where people are less likely to die from heart diseases. The words we use on Twitter reflect the shared economic, physical, and psychological characteristics of the environment we live in, which are highly predictive of the emotional and physical well-being of our neighbours.

In order to nurture greater well-being, we should cultivate skills attainment, social relationships and optimism in our lives to the extent that they are reflected in the language we use on social media.

Choose your words wisely that they can encourage and build up other people. What was your last tweet or comment you wrote on social media? 

Eichstaedt, J. C., Schwartz, H. A., Kern, M. L., Park, G., Labarthe, D. R., Merchant, R. M., ... & Weeg, C. (2015). Psychological language on Twitter predicts county-level heart disease mortality. Psychological Science, 26(2), 159-169.

The survey study of 1322 people found that watching news footage on the 9/11 terrorist attack for more than an hour per day during the first seven days after the attack increased post traumatic stress over three years after the attack.

Frequent viewing of vivid images of planes hitting buildings, buildings on fire, and people jumping from buildings also negatively affected their physical health two to three years after the attack. Frequent exposure to war related images like soldiers engaged in battle and dead soldiers significantly increased post traumatic stress.

We should clearly be aware of the psychological and physical impact of frequently watching images of war and terrorism. We should be very careful about what we see. Of course, we should not blind ourselves from the terrible events that happen in our life because it’s important to recognise, remember and to learn from them. But we can limit how long we are exposed to such terrible images and make sure that we do not watch war and terrorism related images for too long.

Literally speaking, our eyes are the lamp of the body that the positive things we see will light up the whole body, but the negative things we see will darken the whole body.

Silver, R. C., Holman, E. A., Andersen, J. P., Poulin, M., McIntosh, D. N., & Gil-Rivas, V. (2013). Mental-and physical-health effects of acute exposure to media images of the September 11, 2001, attacks and the Iraq War. Psychological Science, 24(9), 1623-1634.

So to maximise your mental well-being, stay connected with friends and family and social trends on your smartphone for less than two hours a day on the weekdays, but on the weekends, put your phone away.

The research also found that watching movies and videos online reduces mental well-being after four hours on weekdays and after five hours on weekends. Playing games reduces well-being after two hours on weekdays and after four hours on weekends. It’s true that if you have found honey, eat only enough for you, lest you have your fill of it and vomit it.

Przybylski, A. K., & Weinstein, N. (2017). A large-scale test of the goldilocks hypothesis: quantifying the relations between digital-screen use and the mental well-being of adolescents. Psychological Science, 28(2), 204-215.

In an experiment, people were given stress by making them prepare and deliver a speech on why they are the best candidate for a job in front of two judges who remained unresponsive throughout the speech. To further increase stress, they were also asked to calculate and speak out the answers to subtraction questions for five minutes in front of the judges. The people’s loneliness was measured with questions like “I feel left out”, “I feel completely lonely” and “My social relationships are superficial”. Their blood tests were done before they were given stress, 45 minutes after and 2 hours after they were given stress to measure their levels of cytokines that cause inflammation.

The results showed that people who felt more lonely had higher levels of cytokines than people who felt less lonely after they were given stress. Investing our time building strong social connections strengthens our buffer against stress, our immunity and physical well-being.

The best thing you can do to protect yourself against the harmful effects of stress is to invest in strong social connections. 

Jaremka, L. M., Fagundes, C. P., Peng, J., Bennett, J. M., Glaser, R., Malarkey, W. B., & Kiecolt-Glaser, J. K. (2013). Loneliness promotes inflammation during acute stress. Psychological Science, 24(7), 1089-1097.

In an experiment, people were asked whether they hugged someone on the day for 14 consecutive evenings. After the last day, they were given a common cold virus to see who were more likely to get infected.

The results showed that having more stressful arguments with others increased the risk of getting ill from the viral infection. But those who hugged more often were less likely to get the infection after having stressful conflict with others. Also, those who reported that they have other people that they can talk to about problems, spend time doing things together or get financial help were less likely to get the viral infection after having social conflict. 

Literally speaking, hugging creates a buffer against viral infections as long as you or the other person of course does not have a viral infection that can spread. So give each other more hugs to boost immunity.

Hugging is a magical spell that can strengthen both your emotional and physical well-being. So we should greet other people with more hugs and kisses to boost your immunity.

Cohen, S., Janicki-Deverts, D., Turner, R. B., & Doyle, W. J. (2015). Does hugging provide stress-buffering social support? A study of susceptibility to upper respiratory infection and illness. Psychological Science, 26(2), 135-147.

Research shows that receiving a touch on the shoulder can reduce the anxiety we have about death when we have low self esteem (Koole et al., 2014). Those who have low self esteem that they are not satisfied with who they are struggle more with the fear and anxiety of death. They also have a greater desire for interpersonal touch, which when it’s received, they report lower anxiety about death.

In an experiment, people were divided into two groups. Group One was given a light 1 second touch on their shoulder blade by a female experimenter as she asked them to fill out a survey. Group Two was asked to fill out the survey without the touch.

The results showed that giving a touch on the shoulder made people with low self esteem feel less anxious about death. When we are not satisfied about ourselves, receiving a friendly touch on the shoulder can reduce our anxiety. This means that we can also help reduce other people’s anxiety with a touch on their shoulder.

The inner strength we give and receive through a touch is quite extraordinary. It’s amazing how we all possess the power to heal others with a touch. 

Koole, S. L., Tjew A Sin, M., & Schneider, I. K. (2014). Embodied terror management: interpersonal touch alleviates existential concerns among individuals with low self-esteem. Psychological Science, 25(1), 30-37.

The songs we listen to when we are in our early 20s often remain our favourite songs for the rest of our life. So the songs that our parents listened to in their early 20s would have been their favourite songs that they listened to while raising us up. For example, if you were born in 1992, on average, your parents would have been 20 years old around 1980. So it’s likely that you would feel happy when listening to the songs that were released between 1980 and 1984 like

• 1980 Call Me – Blondie; Another Brick in The Wall – Pink Floyd

• 1981 Bette Davis Eyes – Kim Carnes, Endless Love – Diana Ross & Lionel Richie

• 1982 Physical – Olivia Newton-John, Eye of the Tiger – Survivor

• 1983 Every Breath You Take – The Police, Billie Jean – Michael Jackson

• 1984 When Doves Cry – Prince, What’s Love Got to Do With It – Tina Turner

It’s interesting that our musical preferences are established in our early 20s, that our musical preferences are passed down the generations, and that listening to the songs of our parents’ generation can make us feel happy and nostalgic.

Music definitely gives colour to life, making it more memorable and wonderful.

Krumhansl, C. L., & Zupnick, J. A. (2013). Cascading reminiscence bumps in popular music. Psychological Science, 24(10), 2057-2068.

The act of saying “thank you" can in fact increase your emotional well-being (Kumar and Epley, 2018). But research shows that we do not express gratitude as often as we should because we underestimate how much saying thank you can make the recipient feel positive, and overestimate how much the recipient will feel awkward.

In an experiment, people were asked to write a letter to express gratitude to someone who had touched their life in a meaningful way. Their emotions were measured before and after they wrote the letter. Also, after writing the letter, they predicted how the recipient of the letter would feel when they read the letter. Finally, people who received the letter were asked to report their feelings after reading the letter.

The results showed that the act of expressing gratitude increased their emotional well-being. But people underestimated how much their expression of gratitude will make the recipient feel positive but overestimated how much the recipient will feel awkward. In other words, we under-value the power of gratitude, and worry more than we should about saying thank you to others. We may not realise the true power of saying thank you for improving our own well-being and the well-being of the recipient.

Remember that we have the power to improve the well-being of others as well as our own well-being by always being thankful and not being afraid to express gratitude. 

Kumar, Amit, and Nicholas Epley. "Undervaluing gratitude: Expressers misunderstand the consequences of showing appreciation." Psychological science 29, no. 9 (2018): 1423-1435.

Research shows that the experience of awe when we come across something so grand and vast that transcends us reduces our daily stress levels and increases our happiness (Bai et al., 2021). We feel awe when we are in the presence of something amazing, breathtaking, fascinating or impressive.

In an experiment, people were divided into three groups. Group One watched aerial images of avalanches, waterfalls, mountains, oceans and forests to make them feel awe. Group Two watched funny animal interactions. Group Three watched a news interview.  After watching, all participants were asked to describe one most stressful hassle they experienced in the past one month, and rate how stressful that was.

The results showed that Group One that watched the awe inspiring video of the natural world reported experiencing the least amount of stress. The research also found that awe makes people feel like they are in the presence of something grand while feeling relatively small and insignificant, which helped reduce stress and increased life satisfaction or happiness.

When we feel awe in the presence of something extraordinary, majestic or glorious, we feel less stress and more happy. Be awe-inspired everyday and experience greater humility, less stress and more happiness in your daily life!

Bai, Yang, Joseph Ocampo, Gening Jin, Serena Chen, Veronica Benet-Martinez, Maria Monroy, Craig Anderson, and Dacher Keltner. "Awe, daily stress, and elevated life satisfaction." Journal of Personality and Social Psychology 120, no. 4 (2021): 837.

Research shows that meditating or praying to cultivate positive emotions like happiness, gratitude, love and hope increases social connections with the people you interact with, and ultimately improve your physical health (Kok et al., 2013).

In an experiment, people were divided into two groups. Group One was invited to a workshop that taught them to meditate or pray that they may be happy, grateful and loving and that the people they like or dislike may be happy, grateful and loving. Group Two was placed in a waiting list for the meditation program. Both Groups were asked to report how much time they spent meditating or praying, what emotions they were feeling at the end of each day for 9 weeks. Both Groups were also tested for their vagal tone or how stable or variable their heart rate is at rest before and after the experiment in order to measure how healthy they were before and after the experiment.

The results showed that Group One that spent more time meditating or praying to cultivate positive emotions experienced greater social connections with the people they interacted with, and improvement in their vagal tone at the end of the experiment compared to Group Two.

Start praying for others. The more we nurture positive emotions through meditation or spiritual prayer, the more we are able to channel those positive emotions in our interactions with others, which significantly improves our physical health. Remember to rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances to experience your body and mind becoming stronger.

Kok, B. E., Coffey, K. A., Cohn, M. A., Catalino, L. I., Vacharkulksemsuk, T., Algoe, S. B., ... & Fredrickson, B. L. (2013). How positive emotions build physical health: Perceived positive social connections account for the upward spiral between positive emotions and vagal tone. Psychological Science, 24(7), 1123-1132.